I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
