Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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