I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
