he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
