Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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