I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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