we have pet lesbian snakes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
