I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sponge bath it is.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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