We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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