i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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