non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
