R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
cat food counts as protein by the way
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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