The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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