dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cockslap morals
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
