Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You pole danced in your parka.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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