i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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