Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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