And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
