If i come over, it means nothing
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
