I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize