It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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