this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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