just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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