i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
