Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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