im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
