I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
