i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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