I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
