just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
