Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
