I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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