i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
