hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
