I cannot find my penis.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
