Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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