Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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