They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
