Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
