I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
