Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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