arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
