Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude i'm inner monologue high
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
