You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dicks are not precious.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
