my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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