just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We are two peas in an std pod
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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