Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
