So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
