my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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