I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
