Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
