theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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