and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
