You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
