I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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