yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
MIDGETS
????
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
