I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
