Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
