well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
