So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Are my feet made of real feet?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
