so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
