Pants 0. Shit 1.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize