all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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