I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The Olympian is in my bed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
