By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
