Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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