just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This house was built for laser tag.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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