when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
