nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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