Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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